Fantastic! After thirteen years at the same job I find out my hours are getting cut, 3 weeks total lay-off in the next two weeks (Merry Christmas!) and may have hours cut in half by first of the year.
Kind of a no-brainer there, can't live on half a paycheck so I have to drag my ass out to look for gainful employment. I don't think I am alone in this thanks to mortgage lenders and various fat cats who are determined to have everyone except themselves standing on a bread line.
But I digress...I'm 46 years old and was comfortably stuck in my rut. I bitched and moaned about my job on a daily basis but now that it's being taken away I am beside myself! I had it all figured out. I would stay there until retirement or until I met someone who would sweep me off my feet and tell me that he didn't want his little flower toiling all day so I should just shop instead.
Now I am faced with change, I don't like change. I do the same things at the same time everyday. This is going to put a serious crimp in my oh so predictable life. I work, I go home, that's about it.
My whole existence is based on fear, fear of the unknown, fear of being challenged, fear of rejection, the list goes on and on and on.
The whole idea of hitting the streets to expose myself to being rejected or told I don't qualify for whatever is really scary to me. I have no self-confidence at all. On the one hand I know that I have skills and am a great employee, on the other hand I am sure I will get a job and completely screw it up.
This blog is just rambling...my thoughts really are a ball of confusion.
